


Analysis

by jennandanica, valuna



Series: A Distance Erased [8]
Category: LOTR RPS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-16
Updated: 2009-11-16
Packaged: 2017-10-03 02:32:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica, https://archiveofourown.org/users/valuna/pseuds/valuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I've been fucking this up right and left. You even sent me the hell home the first night we met."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Analysis

**Author's Note:**

> The year is 1997 and the place is Auckland, New Zealand. Harry's a director/actor and Karl's an actor. This is _not_ Est backstory and is in no way canon for that game.

Harry's up too early, coffee made and he's sitting on the front porch, sipping it, staring at the foam caressing the sand. He's still trying to figure it out, the night before, finding Karl on his knees and then -- he rubs his hand through his hair, makes it stand on end in a horrible bedhead way -- how he'd taken Karl down. It's not like him. Or is it?

Pajama bottoms hanging from his hips, Karl stands just inside the door, hands wrapped around his coffee mug, watching Harry through the panes of glass. He looks unhappy and Karl's sure he's the cause. That maybe Harry's changed his mind. Doesn't want him after all. Or like that. As his boy. Either way though, he can't stay in here forever.

"Hey. Morning," he murmurs, hiding his face behind his mug as he steps out onto the porch. "You're up early." Subtle. Yeah. That's him.

"Yeah. Morning. Sleep well?" It's a safe question. Harry gestures to the chair beside him. "See you found the coffee."

Karl nods and settles into the chair. "Slept okay. Was kind of surprised to find you missing when I woke up," he admits, glancing sideways at Harry.

"Needed coffee," Harry says, raising his mug. "Still not used to your twists," smiles, "hogging the covers."

That gets a smile and the tightness in Karl's chest eases a little. "I thought maybe you were upset about yesterday."

Harry turns his eyes back to the water, sips a bit more coffee. "Not upset. Confused a bit. Wasn't expecting to find you like that."

"I thought you'd get a kick out of it," Karl says, wrapping one arm around himself, wishing he'd thought to throw a shirt on.

"I did." It's obvious Karl's uncomfortable, but then Harry's in a sweatshirt. "You cold?"

Karl nods. "Yeah. I'll get something in a minute." He stares into his mug, the words swirling in his head. "What are you confused about?"

"No, come here." Harry slides back in the chair, spreads his legs to make room. "Confused about what you want, where we're heading."

There's a part of Karl that wants to refuse. Wants to go and grab a jacket and stay in his own chair. Where it's safe. But another part of him wants to go to Harry. Wants to curl up and be held and take a chance that _where we're heading_ isn't a bad thing, that Harry hasn't changed his mind. And it's that part - for once - that he finally listens to, going to Harry and settling between his legs, back against Harry's chest. "What do _you_ want from me?"

Harry sets his mug on the chair's wide arm, slides his hands around Karl's waist and pulls him closer. "I want you to be honest," he says. "I like the idea of you being my boy, but I don't want you doing it because you think I need it."

"I think _I_ need it," Karl confesses softly, "but I don't think I can do it the way I've seen it done." He glances over his shoulder at Harry. "Can I be your boy without being on my knees for you all the time? Without being tied up in rules?"

"Yeah, I think we can do that." Harry kisses Karl's forehead. "We could do formal scenes, nights like that, where you don't talk back and you _are_ on your knees, but keep it casual otherwise. You want any rules?"

"Like what?" Karl asks, the blood rushing so loudly in his ears that he can barely hear himself. Almost sick to his stomach with anticipation and fear. With the desire to bolt, change _his_ mind, say this was a bad idea after all.

"Like when I hold you," Harry says, tightening his grip, sensing that tension building in Karl's body, "you don't resist. Then we'd try a few simple rules. No fucking around. You wear a cock ring." That might be too much, but it's worth a shot. And it's fun to see what he can get.

"No cock ring and define fucking around," Karl demands, already feeling hemmed in, corralled, everything about his way of life threatening to change.

Harry pouts, or pretends to. "No cock ring? You're no fun, Karl," he says, kissing Karl's shoulder. "Fucking around? That means fucking everything that moves, picking up guys in bars, that sort of thing."

Karl looks over his shoulder. "I thought you didn't do monogamy?"

"Who said anything about monogamy?" Harry grins, kisses Karl's nose. "Just don't go picking up strangers in bars."

Now _that_ Karl thinks he can handle. "Fine. No fucking around," he agrees. "But I don't want everyone knowing I'm your boy. I'm not sir-ing you in public, I don't give a fuck who we're around. This stays between us, right? For now," he adds, finishing a little more softly.

"You ashamed of me, Karl?" It's Harry's turn to frown, be a little less than sure about where they're heading.

"No." Fuck. He owes Harry honesty. "Ashamed of myself maybe. At trying this and fucking up. And everyone watching." He shakes his head. "I don't think I could handle that."

Harry works his hands over Karl's stomach, tugging him back. "You fail a lot? Don't see it, myself, Karl. I bet you're as good at being a boy as everything else."

"As everything else?" Karl chuckles softly, shaking his head again. "I've been fucking this up right and left. You even sent me the hell home the first night we met. What makes you think I won't fuck up being your boy?"

"Fuck." Harry laughs. It's hard and long. "Shit, Karl. You didn't fuck up that night. I was trying to avoid temptation."

"But I thought..." Christ. Karl takes a deep breath and lets it out loudly. Stunned. "But you said. You told me I crossed the line."

"You did. You pushed. That was too much temptation, to push back, to let myself go," Harry explains. "I came back, acted on my curiosity. It paid off. And here you are now, prepared to go where you definitely wouldn't have that night."

"So this is what you wanted from me from the very beginning," Karl says slowly, not sure he likes the sound of that. Maybe it's just Harry's words, just the way he's put it, but he feels like he's been manipulated.

"I wanted you the minute you opened your mouth, Karl," Harry admits, "maybe not exactly like this, but I'm not arguing with fate."

It's a fucking romantic notion, fate. Doesn't really have any place in Karl's world view. But there's something appealing about the way Harry says it, seems to believe it, wants him no matter how much he's screwed things up so far. No matter how difficult and unlovable he tries to make himself. He nods, finally relenting a little, "No fucking around, maybe the cock ring, _some_ people can know I'm your boy, but we talk about that first, and we use names when we're not actually in scene. No sir, no boy, unless we're actually playing. Okay?"

Harry doesn't answer quickly, thinking on the parameters Karl sets. It's not an extreme request, not in the least. "That's called being a lover, Karl. Is that what you want? I can be your boyfriend with kink benefits. No sir, no boy. How about babe?"

Karl nods. Anyone else called him babe, he'd want to hit them, but with Harry, it's okay. Seems right somehow. And a decent middle ground when he's not prepared to be Harry's boy full-time. Not yet. "You open to renegotiating later if this works out?" he asks, slowly twining his fingers with Harry's.

"Sure, babe," Harry says, chuckling at how it rolls off his tongue. "Get you used to the ring and we'll work up to a cage." He's half-teasing. "So, who can know?"

Christ. "I don't know. Who do you want to?" Karl asks, turning the question around.

"Um, people we see all the time. Dani, maybe, has to be people we'd trust."

"What are you going to say to her?" Even the thought of Dani knowing freaks him out. "Hey, by the way, Karl's my boy now."

"Something like that." Harry hadn't thought through it. Hell, he hadn't thought of Karl actually doing it. Till now. "Anyone you positive you don't want knowing?"

"Anyone who's gonna give me grief about it," Karl says, shoving a hand back through his hair. "Anyone who thinks it makes me a sub. I'm not. You're the exception and I want anyone who knows what's going on between us to know that."

"Of course, Karl, we'll be clear with everyone. Might want to avoid Marton, then. Think Lucy will take it well?"

"Nah. Marton'll get it. Lucy..." Fuck. Karl sighs. "At least it might finally make her write me off completely."

"Doubt it. She'll find a way to reform you." Harry joins in the sigh, rests his head against Karl's.

"Or at least try." Karl relaxes into Harry's embrace, laughing as he turns his head, kissing Harry on the corner of his mouth. Heart suddenly in his throat as he considers telling Harry how he feels about all this. Christ. But he can't. Not yet. "Glad I'm gonna be your boy," he confesses instead, the words enough for now.

"Yeah. It's a good thing." That's better than admitting real feelings. "How about a collar? Could I get by with that? Just in private."

"What kind?" Karl asks, surprised by the spike of arousal that runs through him at the thought.

"Rhinestones," Harry teases. "Maybe with a sapphire buckle."

"Bastard," Karl murmurs, shaking his head, trying to hold back the chuckle. "Leather or chain?"

"Leather. Chain's gaudy."

"I like chain, but leather's okay, long as it's not one of those fucking posture things." Karl shudders. "Yeah, as long as we keep it private and you keep it simple, I'll wear a collar for you."

"Simple. Leather. I'll get you a chain leash."

Karl looks at Harry. "You always have to push it just that little bit farther, don't you?"

"Personality flaw," Harry says, shrugging.

Karl settles in again, enjoying the closeness. "I guess I'll get used to it," he murmurs, mischief in his smile.

"You'll be the first," Harry whispers, arms tight around Karl's chest.


End file.
